I am having probably the biggest operation of my life. Definately one that is significant for me. For years I have wondered if I will end up having my own kids but tended to lean more towards the ‘no’. There were different reasons for this uncertainty and not being fully sure. At 43 it is now a certain.
Heading into a hysterectomy surgery soon this is not what I would have anticipated. Some years ago I had a laparoscopic pelvic surgery however this; with the removal of my uterus feels quite a bigger thing. I am currently nursing a 12 to 13cm fibroid which has expanded and enlarged my uterus; and it is going to keep growing. Fibroids are very common in women however they are normally not symptomatic and not visible so can sit within a women’s body with ease and can be barely noticeable. Mine however has grown to the point I look pregnant. Many African American black women are prone to large fibroids and often need surgical removal. I am a white petite women; 5ft1 under 50kgs.
I am nervous for my surgery, scared and apprehensive but also wanting to get this thing I have been carrying that seems to have grown alot out of me. Unlike a baby it is not a creation. It has formed due to oestrogen dominance in my body and some other factors. I am a healthy person but our bodies can do all sorts of things especially in a women’s pelvic area.
If surgery goes smoothly I will hopefully be feeling alot of relief and less pain but will need to adjust to having lost such an important part of me i.e my womb. I have already cried about it; now I just want to get the surgery done and focus on a slow healing process.
I have been through alot of different things and I am leaning on the Lord during my surgery trusting he knows what he is doing. As a single women it would be nice to have had the right partner/guy by my side but I am trusting the process 🙂
Looking forward to life on the other side of this x