I have come a long way with healing my body after what I went through but it is still ongoing. There was a time I could barely eat anything at all; that I became afraid of food. My body communicated it’s distress from what happened to me by rejecting most food and drink; I even had to order a special filter water system for the house.
The allergies and chemical intolerances were intense and accompanying them was a very real lack of clarity about what I could and could not consume. It felt like a guessing game, where every meal could either make me sick or be something I could tolerate. Though I had professionals advising me as best they could there was an ambiguity and unknown to it all, that made even them fearful of what was going on.
The area of allergies and chemical intolerances can be a very gray area. Even though I was told what my allergies were, it felt like one could trigger the other, or if a food I was allergic to was from the same family as another there could be a cross reaction. The shopping centre felt like a danger zone where even healthy food was considered poisonous.
Calming my anxiety around all this happened in time, as my body began to adjust to what it needed and as I listened and took the steps sometime little by little to get better. I was able to prepare and shop for food without so much fear. I was able to look at food I couldn’t eat and not feel like I was missing out as much as my diet began to get better. I researched alot so I was ordering the right food for me. This was and can be often an expensive process; but a girl’s gotta eat! I lived in pure survival mode while I uncovered what was and was not making me sick.
This is an ongoing process but I have trust more now that things won’t get so extreme again. There are plenty of foods and drinks I will never touch again; I barely do packaged food; maybe some specialised vegetable based chips I can tolerate but generally I don’t go there. I am ok with it now and I have fun sometimes with the cooking process.
It was scary to not have access to food; to be so sick. But I prayed alot for God to heal me and did whatever I could to get my body back to a space of balance.